This is ClawReviews. My last name has ‘Claw’ and I review movies; the naming convention for this site is a stroke of creative genius.
All in Stupid
A good piece of short-story body horror that bloated into a full-length movie and became bad.
If you bought the DVD release of “Knives Out,” then broke the disc and cut yourself with the jagged edge, you’d still have a better time than watching this.
Imagine wearing a meat suit while getting chased by lions, but you can only stumble forward slowly.
That would be a more enjoyable experience than watching this.
Build something ridiculous out of Legos, then step on it repeatedly. It’ll be more fun than watching this, I promise.
A Bay-hem explosion-fest with only 1/6th the quirk it needed to feel fun. It’s okay Michael, we miss Optimus Prime too
I would rather teach sex-ed to my boss than watch these two movies ever again.
What if the legendary ‘Fountain of Youth’ wasn’t a fountain at all, but a location where time slows down?
Unfortunately, someone decided to let their weird slash-fic fantasy escape the confines of their mind and now we have to live in a universe where Nicholas Hoult and Kristen Stewart had to pretend to like each other for 90 minutes
One thousand years ago, a sentient piece of linen decided to use binary code to tell a group of fanatical hooded weirdos who like to knit who they should murder.
